Best school year yet

You either love it or you hate it.

​Or maybe you just like buying new school supplies.

It’s officially here. The teenagers we know and love are about to embark on a brand new year. What can we do to love them well as they head off to another school year?

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1) Listen With Empathy
Being a teenager today is WAY different than it was for many parents and caregivers. Generation Alpha and Generation Z are growing up in a world that is defined by technology which we see has had a negative effect (a few positive) in how they interact and engage with the world. There is a constant pressure to perform whether it’s in the classroom, field, court, friendships, family, and more.

Why? Let’s think about this…

A scroll through Instagram or TikTok gives the viewer a glimpse into the lives of other teenagers and adults. Typically, what is being viewed is a highlight reel but even for us adults, it’s difficult to separate the highlight reel from reality. If we’re having a hard time separating the highlights vs. the real, then how much more is it for our teenagers? What this means is that our teenagers are seeing images perfectly curated, planned, and edited and thinking that’s the expectation they have to live up to. That expectation is unattainable and exhausting-unless you’re a brand influencer that has a ring light that has an assistant recording you and helping you set up all the things.

When we (elder millennial speaking here) were teenagers, we had drama to deal with and expectations to live up to, but it wasn’t on a device in front of us 24/7. What our teenagers need us to do is listen empathetically. They’ve never been a teenager before-they’re trying to figure it out, too. When our students come to us, we need to take a posture of empathy. We listen, we validate what they’re experiencing, even if it’s something that we know won’t be a big deal in 5 years from now, we acknowledge it’s hard and heavy to carry, and then we offer to carry that with them. 

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2) Let Them Learn

The beauty of adolescence is that our kids are becoming adults. There are times when yes, of course, we step in and guide them, but there are also times when we need to let them learn and lead their own way. The goal is autonomy, where our teenagers have the ability to decide for themselves, be their own person
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We have to let our students make mistakes and let them learn from them. We have to
discover for each student what he/she is capable of and let them live in that independence and freedom so that he/she can learn what it means to flourish.  Check out this wisdom from Lisa Damour, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author.  Dr. Damour gives insight as to why our teenagers might reject our solutions to their problems and how we can step back and let them learn.

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3) Lean In


“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2

After more than a decade of stability or improvement, the mental health of adolescents plunged in the early 2010s. Rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide rose sharply, more than doubling on many measures. In The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt lays out the facts about the epidemic of teen mental illness that hit many countries simultaneously.


The reality is that our teenagers are experiencing a mental health crisis.


They are seeking freedom from isolation, anxiety, shame, depression, and loneliness. Perhaps if they’ve grown up in church, they’ve often heard about this Jesus who loves them, cares for them, and is with them during their valleys and periods of darkness.


If they haven’t grown up in church, they may hear about Jesus for the first time and want to know him. They want to be forgiven like the woman at the well. They want to be healed like the blind man and the woman with the bleeding. This burden of a mental health crisis is one that we, as trusted, caring adults, can carry with our students—together. By leaning into Jesus and into each other in community, we can provide safe spaces for the teenagers we love to experience Jesus’ love, goodness, forgiveness, compassion, and so much more.


As adults, we lean into each other and consider ways we can care for the teenagers in our lives, inviting them into a relationship with Jesus and also into relationships within the community. We lean on each other for support when the days of parenting and caring for teenagers become long.


For our teenagers, we encourage them to lean into Jesus and into others who are friends and followers of Jesus. We encourage them to be part of faith communities where they can find identity, purpose, and belonging as friends and followers of Jesus. We urge them not to give up on gathering in spiritual community. We support them in finding another trusted adult in their lives—someone who can remind them of who Jesus is, who they are, and their invitation to join him on mission.


Research from Fuller Youth Institute (FYI) advocates that every teenager needs five adults throughout adolescence. This doesn’t mean five Bible study leaders or five people to whom we can outsource discipleship. What FYI is advocating for, based on years of research at Fuller, is that faith "sticks" after teenagers graduate when they have five adults in their lives outside of their parents/caregivers who truly know them. I wonder what would happen to the teenagers in our lives—and the teenagers we’ve yet to know—if they had someone who prays for them, who shows up occasionally at a concert or game. Who are the five adults who can be on a teenager’s team, knowing them and cheering them on as your assistant coach?

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