 You either love it or you hate it. It’s officially here. The teenagers we know and love are about to embark on a brand new year. What can we do to love them well as they head off to another school year? 1) Listen With Empathy Being a teenager today is WAY different than it was for many parents and caregivers. Generation Alpha and Generation Z are growing up in a world that is defined by technology which we see has had a negative effect (a few positive) in how they interact and engage with the world. There is a constant pressure to perform whether it’s in the classroom, field, court, friendships, family, and more. Why? Let’s think about this… A scroll through Instagram or TikTok gives the viewer a glimpse into the lives of other teenagers and adults. Typically, what is being viewed is a highlight reel but even for us adults, it’s difficult to separate the highlight reel from reality. If we’re having a hard time separating the highlights vs. the real, then how much more is it for our teenagers? What this means is that our teenagers are seeing images perfectly curated, planned, and edited and thinking that’s the expectation they have to live up to. That expectation is unattainable and exhausting-unless you’re a brand influencer that has a ring light that has an assistant recording you and helping you set up all the things. When we (elder millennial speaking here) were teenagers, we had drama to deal with and expectations to live up to, but it wasn’t on a device in front of us 24/7. What our teenagers need us to do is listen empathetically. They’ve never been a teenager before-they’re trying to figure it out, too. When our students come to us, we need to take a posture of empathy. We listen, we validate what they’re experiencing, even if it’s something that we know won’t be a big deal in 5 years from now, we acknowledge it’s hard and heavy to carry, and then we offer to carry that with them. 2) Let Them Learn The beauty of adolescence is that our kids are becoming adults. There are times when yes, of course, we step in and guide them, but there are also times when we need to let them learn and lead their own way. The goal is autonomy, where our teenagers have the ability to decide for themselves, be their own person We have to let our students make mistakes and let them learn from them. We have to discover for each student what he/she is capable of and let them live in that independence and freedom so that he/she can learn what it means to flourish. Check out this wisdom from Lisa Damour, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author. Dr. Damour gives insight as to why our teenagers might reject our solutions to their problems and how we can step back and let them learn. 3) Lean In “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2 After more than a decade of stability or improvement, the mental health of adolescents plunged in the early 2010s. Rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide rose sharply, more than doubling on many measures. In The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt lays out the facts about the epidemic of teen mental illness that hit many countries simultaneously. The reality is that our teenagers are experiencing a mental health crisis. They are seeking freedom from isolation, anxiety, shame, depression, and loneliness. Perhaps if they’ve grown up in church, they’ve often heard about this Jesus who loves them, cares for them, and is with them during their valleys and periods of darkness. If they haven’t grown up in church, they may hear about Jesus for the first time and want to know him. They want to be forgiven like the woman at the well. They want to be healed like the blind man and the woman with the bleeding. This burden of a mental health crisis is one that we, as trusted, caring adults, can carry with our students—together. By leaning into Jesus and into each other in community, we can provide safe spaces for the teenagers we love to experience Jesus’ love, goodness, forgiveness, compassion, and so much more. As adults, we lean into each other and consider ways we can care for the teenagers in our lives, inviting them into a relationship with Jesus and also into relationships within the community. We lean on each other for support when the days of parenting and caring for teenagers become long. For our teenagers, we encourage them to lean into Jesus and into others who are friends and followers of Jesus. We encourage them to be part of faith communities where they can find identity, purpose, and belonging as friends and followers of Jesus. We urge them not to give up on gathering in spiritual community. We support them in finding another trusted adult in their lives—someone who can remind them of who Jesus is, who they are, and their invitation to join him on mission. Research from Fuller Youth Institute (FYI) advocates that every teenager needs five adults throughout adolescence. This doesn’t mean five Bible study leaders or five people to whom we can outsource discipleship. What FYI is advocating for, based on years of research at Fuller, is that faith "sticks" after teenagers graduate when they have five adults in their lives outside of their parents/caregivers who truly know them. I wonder what would happen to the teenagers in our lives—and the teenagers we’ve yet to know—if they had someone who prays for them, who shows up occasionally at a concert or game. Who are the five adults who can be on a teenager’s team, knowing them and cheering them on as your assistant coach? 
0 Comments
In August 2004, I walked into Century Baptist as a college freshman, checking out this church that my parents had suggested because one of our former pastors, Alan Steier was pastoring here. A year later, I was baptized at Century. Another year later, I began volunteering as a Sunday School teacher under Melanie Kost’s leadership. Three years later, I joined this wild youth ministry staff and then two years later, began an internship on staff under Paul Nather’s leadership in the youth ministry. And as they say, the rest is history. Our stories have chapters. I look back over these chapters in my story and I am grateful for each of them. After much prayer and consideration as a family, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to close this chapter at Century Baptist. I have grown both personally and spiritually, and I am deeply grateful for the experiences and opportunities that my time at Century has afforded me. I will always cherish the community I experienced with our student ministry and leaders. Thank you for the opportunity to walk beside your students for the last 15 years in this student ministry. It has been a gift and an honor watching students turn the world upside down outside these walls. These students and MSM leaders are the best and I could not have done ministry without them for the last 13 years. I will be at church and teaching Sunday School this Sunday, July 7; on July 14, I will be gone and be at the Triennial Conference in St. Paul, MN; on July 21 I will also be teaching Sunday School, and my last Sunday at Century Baptist will be July 28, 2024. Students, I love you dearly and there are so many days where your faith, your wild hope, your goofiness, and so much more have encouraged me to keep actively following Jesus and loving people well. I'll still be around Bismarck, I'll still be game for coffee, and I'll still have Skittles. Always remember you are loved, you matter, and you belong. With love and gratitude, April J. Wahl   Dear Wonderful, Fierce, Compassion, and Imaginative 8th Grade Class of 2024,
On August 22, 2021, we welcomed you into the MSM and promised you that Adventure is UP here. I hope we have kept that promise to you. You could say it was finally a school year that was starting to feel normal. We had a fall kickoff on Sept. 15, outside with lots of wild games that probably made you question why in the world would my parents drop me off here and trust me with these people? Over the last three years you’ve shown your commitment to showing up, to growing, and to serving others. You have even cheered each other on even when times got tough, when struggle after struggle showed up on your front door step, when doubts and questions about your faith and if this is all worth it started to roll around in your mind and heart. It can be so easy to stop showing up, to give up on following Jesus, but you have continued to show up and do just that even when it’s messy and weird…just like an MSM game. Our prayer for you has been that The Basement would be a second home to you. That on your hardest Wednesdays and your best Wednesdays, your heart’s desire would be to come to The Basement, even if you weren’t “feeling it.” That this is a place where you would know to the core of your being that you are loved, you matter, and you belong. That it oozed out of every adult that you encountered here. That it was more than just ‘feelings’ but that it was true and you knew it was true. I’m guessing one of the #1 reasons you kept coming on Wednesdays is this: your youth leaders. The ones who have texted you, called you, had you hang out at their house for small group, cheered you on at a concert or game. This fall, when you move up to HSM, I am going to miss seeing you together, watching you walk off to Small Group Together. You might not be here in MSM, but these people, adults in the MSM will still be here for you. I know this, because the leaders in our ministry care about you. I want you to know that we will do our best to make sure that you always have trusted adults in your life to help you through some of the things you’ll face in high school and beyond. Thank you for trusting us and sticking with us. A disciple of Jesus actively follows Him and loves people. Will you keep doing that? Will you keep coming home to Jesus and then going out there to turn the world upside? Even when you doubt all these truths you’ve learned, will you come back to knowing that you are so loved by the Creator of the Universe? Will you keep inspiring me and other adults to get out there and love people instead of arguing about how it should be done? There are more moments than I can name when you’ve inspired me to keep going, to keep following Jesus, to keep turning the world upside down. It’s because of your light, your influence, your impact that I’m still here today. We hope that you have come to see the church as a place where you can ask questions. Because we don’t mind your questions. We do mind when you disappear. So when life gets busy–keep coming back. You’ll never regret the time you spent following Jesus. Jesus is worth it because he is the best. I want you to know that we are paying attention to you, we are still watching you, we are still here for you. Even though you’re moving on from one ministry to the next. We aren’t moving on from you. We want you to continue to grow together, connected to disciples of Jesus. This fall, you will take a big step into the high school world. We may not be at your locker every day. But we will be cheering for you and available. If life is overwhelming, if you didn’t make the A squad, if a friend stabbed you in the back, if you have doubts, if you have questions, or if you’re confused or hurt. We’ll be here. Don’t be afraid to text or call. My hope is that you’ll turn the world upside down. Actively following Jesus and loving people. Finding your identity in Jesus alone. Living in community with other disciples of Jesus. Being for people, being for your city, and loving people wherever they are. We welcomed you into The Basement by telling you adventure is UP here. As you begin to close the chapter on this adventure in MSM, I pray that the words you have learned from us here and outside of these walls (and hopefully made visible in our lives) will continue to sink deep into your hearts. That you’ll be able to reach for them when you need them most and offer them with others need them most. There are so many more adventures coming your way. I don’t know what each adventure will look like, but we know the one who’s planned the adventure.: Jesus. Stick to him. He’s sticking with you. Expect that God will do immeasurably more than you could ever ask or imagine. Shock the the world by turning it upside down with the love of Jesus. Show them what you’re made of. We’ll be right here–turning the world upside down with you–one step at a time. “Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ― Steve Jobs |
RSS Feed